Toxic People You Should Walk Away From in 2020
I originally posted this piece in January 2018. It was originally called Toxic Friends You Should Walk Away From in 2018. I wanted to update it a bit and re-post it this year because it is a subject I find to be especially relevant right now. Watching what has unfolded with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex is a reminder that toxic people come in all forms - even family. And making a break from them doesn’t make you the bad guy or selfish. It makes you strong and it makes you someone who protects your own well-being.
Cutting people from our lives can be scary. And it can make you feel like the bad guy. But-you will feel better-and lighter for it. Negative people are energy guzzlers. Do you have a family member or a friend who after talking to them you just feel exhausted? There is nothing positive that comes from your interactions with them? Then it's time to re-evaluate that relationship. Choosing who we allow into our lives is important. What and who we surround ourselves with plays a direct role in how we view our own lives and the world around us.
Relationships are funny things. Some people are meant to be a part of our lives forever, others not so much. We often hold on to relationships (whether they be friends or family) that have run their course because we feel that we have an obligation to maintain - despite the emotional and mental destruction they cause. Toxic people are draining. Though it may be scary; we have to take a good hard look at what we allow in our lives. Below are the types of toxic people to do away with in 2020.
1. The Complainer
This person is never happy. They always have something to complain about. And they want to complain about it to you. Which does nothing but drag you down and make you feel just as unhappy and unsatisfied as they do.
2. The Negative Nancy
Buying a new car? Hope it's not a lemon. Got a new job? Hope you don't hate it. Met a new guy? He's probably married. This person is hell bent on raining on your parade. Here's the thing: anyone who insists on turning every positive thing that happens to you into a negative isn't actually rooting for you.
3. The Drama Queen
We all know one. Or more. This is the person whose entire life seems to play out like a Telanovela. They thrive on drama - and they drag you into their drama constantly. The 3 am phone calls, the shitty boyfriends...this friend is exhausting. And while you are wrapped up in all of their stuff when is your friendship being reciprocated??
4. The Ghoster
This is the person who is never around when you need them. If you are going through a rough situation they are simply too busy to return phone calls, make plans... Or pretty much do anything that involves maintaining a friendship.
5. The Non-Reciprocator
This person is very similar to The Ghoster. You are always the one who calls them, or makes plans. If you stopped calling would they even notice? Try a little experiment: Stop calling! Friendships are a two-way street and you should not be doing all the work to maintain one. You want friends in your life who actually value you.
6. The One-Upper
This person is always in competition with you. Did you buy a new top? Well they bought a new coat. Like the Negative Nancy, this friend is incapable of rooting for you. They are too busy trying to be better than you.
7. The Judgey-Wudgey
Why can't you make better choices? Why are you wearing that? Well I wouldn't have done that... Any of that sound like someone you know?? If so it sounds like you've got a Judgey-Wudgey on your hands. This person just loves telling you everything you've done wrong. They get a thrill of making you second guess yourself.
8. The Gossiper
This is the person who is always talking shit - about you. And everyone else. This person doesn't have a loyal bone in their body. They have no problems telling people things you told them in confidence. If a someone spends a lot of their time telling you all of your other friends’ personal business it is guaranteed that they are doing the same to you.
If anyone in your life matches the descriptions above ask yourself some hard questions: Is this person bringing anything to my life that is positive? Am I happy to spend time with this person? Do I feel good about myself when I'm with this person? Do we have anything in common anymore? We often hold on to friendships that have run their course because we feel that any friendship we build should be maintained. We don't take the time to examine what these relationships bring - if anything- into our lives. Or what they take away.
