5 Things I Learned in 2019
2019 is over and 2020 is fresh and new and ahead of us. Each year brings new lessons and the things I learned in 2019 will hopefully carry me into this new year.
1. That I am braver than I realized
It’s funny how cautious we become as we get older. I think back to how I pursued things and pushed myself when I was in my teens and twenties with what can only be described as awe. I missed that girl who thought the world was her oyster. As an adult - like most people - I have become consumed with “adulting” and making sure that I am “secure” (whatever that means). And that desire for security and for the “sure thing” has crippled my imagination and yes, my bravery. And I want those things back. And in 2019 I started doing small things and big things. All of which scared me. A;ll of which when I look back on them were amazing experiences.
2. Travelling alone is pretty great
I had never traveled alone until 2019. That may sound crazy to some you of who probably do it all the time and think “what’s the big deal”. But it was a big deal for me. And I did it. And…I actually had an amazing time.My time was my own. I could do whatever I wanted. Often times I have felt the need to share experiences with others, but I learned in 2019 that having those special solitary moments is just as valuable.
3. That I need to take a harder look at how I spend money and why
I like a lot of people use shopping as a form of soothing. Had a bad day? Treat yo’ self. Had a bad week? Treat yo’self. Feeling anxious and out of control? Treat yo’ self. But often these “treat yo self” moments only left me feeling more anxious and more out of control. I am a shopper. I love pretty things. But learning to not rely on those pretty things to make me feel better is an ongoing lesson and one that I want really dig deeper into in 2020.
4. Worry and anxiety are the same beast
It took me a while to figure this out but therapy has been invaluable in helping me connect the two. I always considered myself to just be a “worry wart”. It is only now when I am consciously working to change certain negative thought patterns and behaviors that I realize that the root of my worry is anxiety. My general anxiety will look for things to be worried about. This was an epiphany for me and learning this about the way my brain works is helping me in my process of changing the way I approach and think about things.
5. It’s never too late for a change
This one is probably the biggest lesson of all in 2019 for me. Change is scary. Even if you adapt well to it, it’s scary. And change plays right into my anxiety. The what ifs are endless and can be overwhelming and can leave you paralyzed. Learning to shake that off is daunting and I still struggle with it. Getting older makes change even scarier and the what ifs even more daunting. But so what? In the words of the wise Jon Bon Jovi: “It’s my life. It’s now or never. And I ain’t gonna live forever”. Yes, I did just quote Jon Bon Jovi. You’re welcome.
What did you learn in 2019? Let me know in the comments.
